In Part 1 of my Ten-on-One with Kristy Siefkin (linked here), we talked about clear communication and getting to the point. This week, we discuss why public speaking can feel so intimidating — and why the fear is far more human than we realize. She has a great way of taking the pressure off and reminding people that confidence is a skill, not a personality trait.
Here are three takeaways from the second half of our conversation that stood out:
— Our Fear Is Instinct, Not Inadequacy: Kristy explained that our anxiety around an audience comes from primal wiring. Back when we relied on a tribe to survive, rejection felt dangerous. That instinct hasn’t gone away — which is why speaking in front of people triggers it.
The fix? Reframe the room. Instead of seeing an audience as a threat, see them as your modern-day tribe — people who are here to learn from you, not throw you out of the cave.
— Leaders Have to Grow Into the Spotlight: A lot of leaders come from roles where they weren’t front and center. Suddenly, communication becomes part of the job. Build the mindset and reps needed to show up confidently and be seen.
— No One Cares About Your Stumble: Good speakers don’t memorize, they connect. If you trip over a word, acknowledge it and move forward. Your audience won’t fixate on the mistake — they’ll remember the overall experience. We’re always harder on ourselves than anyone else in the room.
We can use better communication skills at work and at home. I hope this two-part series inspires you to improve your speaking game!
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